How to Overcome Fear of Change and Failure
Very often, when we feel unhappy or discontent with an area of our life, there is an inner voice saying from the bottom of our hearts that maybe we should consider changing something. However, we often "hang in the place" where we are unsatisfied without moving any steps further.
WHY??? We clearly know that we want to have a better life and become a better version of ourselves, but why are we just thinking but not doing anything on earth? What holds us back?
The answer probably is FEAR! The unhappy and discontent situation is tough yet familiar and comfortable; the change will lead us to an unknown and risky place, in short, the uncomfortable zone. It is common that we are afraid of something unexpected and unfortunate that may happen, and we fear that we are not ready yet. Therefore, we wait and hope that we will be ready for the new challenge one day.
The crucial truth is that we will probably forever wait because of fear until some dramatic events occur or we have been forced to a limit. Eventually, we realize we can not stand the current situation anymore. We call this stage that we are reaching a breaking point. At the breaking point, we have severe pain through exhaustion, which helps us rethink the problem and move to the next stage, deciding to change.
After all the events (usually sad stories) we went through, finally, we make our minds and decide to change! Interestingly, at this stage, we feel kind of happy and hopeful, since this is a great opportunity we can save ourselves from the old, discontent life and start a brand-new one.
Guess what? The feelings of empowerment by deciding to change and starting a new life can last, unfortunately, very short... Many people experience fear of change almost IMMEDIATELY after the thought of making a change. In turn, we started to question the decision, evaluate the risk of the change, be anxious about the unknown future. We are trapped in a desperate dilemma-staying where we are is hopeless, making the change is risky and scary.
If we try to look at the bright side of this stage: at least there are still two options on the table. We just need to choose wisely. As a reader, you should be clear and intelligent enough to say go for the new life since the unknown can also be a great surprise! But, the one, who is in the change cycle and so scared by the fear of change and failure, may easily perceive the initial situation as less risky and uncomfortable with the growing fear of change. Suddenly, the old life seems more appealing and safer in comparison.
Naturally, we temporarily forget why we wanted to change the initial situation so badly (amnesia stage). And lots of us choose to go back to the old life since at least we are familiar and comfortable with it.
If you want to break the unhealthy cycle, you need to be very honest to yourself: do you really want to change? Are you addicted to the current situation? Or maybe you need the pain to feel that this is you, your life, and your story? You need to know yourself more, find the change you really want, and build new positive beliefs instead of limiting beliefs.
It is fairly ok if you don't want to change, but you need to learn how to accept it and live with it. If you really have big dreams and determine to change, then you need to confront the fear and don't be afraid of failure. If you never know failure, you will never know success.